What they leave behind.

did you get home ok? also why do you know every song. i played riptide and it wasn't it but now i can't stop humming that one instead. this is your fault

wait did you take the blurry one or did i. sunset was mine right. why can't i remember if you were even there

a screenshot of the bio still open in another tab. they never closed it. the timestamp says 3:47am.

ok but what if the memory is just the forgetting. like the feeling IS the whole thing and there's nothing underneath to find. what then

did you actually mean that or were you just saying what i needed to hear. because i can't tell anymore and that's the problem isn't it. the not being able to tell.

did yours have lettuce? for some reason that feels important. or maybe alfalfa sprouts? i used to be obsessed with those. the early 2000s breathy kind. the mentos commercials. the backroads home.

found a receipt in my jacket. alpine lodge restaurant. date smudged but legible. 47 euros for two. i don't remember eating there. do you?

did you ever finish that sentence at dinner or just. never circle back to it. asking for a friend who also forgets mid-thought and honestly it's fine now

does it always get worse in hindsight or does it get better when it's out there? [message unsent]

the thing you were working on is still sitting on the table. i moved it twice. the instructions are in your handwriting but halfway through someone switched pens.

wait what smell? you never told me. i've been thinking about it for three days. was it the coffee place or the thing near the park. my phone died before you finished

found a disco ball earring in my jacket pocket. it's catching light weird. did you leave this or did i always have it

did you ever finish telling me why you quit or did we just move on. i've been thinking about it for some reason. the unsent kind of thought

kavinsky on repeat at 2am driving nowhere specific. neon signs blurred. you said it felt like a movie. i didn't say: so did this.

you asked me what i've been thinking about and i almost told you the real thing. the part where i'm not sure if i'm actually like this or if i've just practiced it so much it feels real. but you seemed like you might get it so i said something safer instead. now i'm wondering if that was the moment.

hey i know it's late but i just wanted to say—i wasn't nervous about any of that. you asking real questions felt like relief. like finally someone wanted to know the actual me and not just the version that's safe. thank you for that