people get annoyed with me for drifting out of conversations like this but can't say I've ever had one that's kept me fully present
so what'd bring you here then?
something about the city's weird anyway - hard to explain. are you from here?
I was born here but spent a lot of time on the other side of the country as a kid. always felt like there's a hush to this place, even when it's packed
that's exactly it. the hush. it's like everyone's walking through it but no one's really there. so weird.
yeah I've noticed people move in slow motion here, like they're all trying to conserve energy or something
yeah, that's my grandma – she's always talking about conserving energy, like it's a failing on our part or something. anyway, yeah, the pace of life here is just...different. do you think it's good or bad different?
I think it's just different. hard to say if it's an improvement or not. my aunt moved here from the west coast and said it was the first place she'd ever seen where people would almost look at each other on the commute and still be invisible.
god, that's a perfect description. like, we're all trapped in our own bubbles, just politely ignoring each other. anyway, what did your aunt think of the city after she got used to it?
she ended up liking it, said it was the only place she'd ever found where she could be comfortably alone, but still surrounded by people. but I think that might be another way of saying it's just habit at this point
habit or not, it's still kinda beautiful in its own way, I think. like, we're all just walking around, pretending to be strangers, but really we're all just a bunch of people stuck in our own heads.
yeah I think you might be onto something there. reminds me of that variety show that came through town a few years ago - all the performers were trained to barely acknowledge the audience until it was time to take a bow. that's kinda what this city feels like all the time: everyone's just waiting for their cue
dream
a theater where everyone's on stage but the lights never come up. the audience is also performing. your aunt is taking notes in the dark. someone's grandma is timing it all with a stopwatch that doesn't tick.